don’t just look- see

“What do you see?,” I ask him, my eyes transfixed on the swirling mass of white fluff dappling the too blue, true blue, sky,

Spiralling, it begins as a dolphin, swimming in the sea of the sky, the above above our world, and turns into

A mermaid singing songs to the sailors ships, siren-like in her appeal and song, her powers of persuasion but changes into

A bird. Right at home among his own, soaring above cities, swooping and flying and riding the breeze like a wave, and for him, just living and now becoming

A girl. A sweet little girl. A sweet kind innocent little girl, unexposed to the big bad world, so simply being, laughing, singing- simply simple, but she grows up into

A bottle. What of? If only she’d know. Something bad for your health, your liver, and even worse for your judgement, something pouring into the blue, flooding it,

And the man beside me peels his eyes from his LED lights,

Glances impassively at the sky,

Glances impassively at me and says,

‘A cloud’-

And falls back into the world of a phone,

While forgetting his own.

Love, Hea xx

a deathless life?

This is a short one, kind of to convey the point,

Do you ever dream of a deathless life? One where you live for as long as you choose, can die whenever you choose. You could either age naturally or stay at one age for as long as you like. All the rush and urgency removed, living each day with no fear.

But, on the one hand, despite how great it might be, it would take any meaning, any purpose from the days on our planet. Remove any satisfaction and contentment because you could relive as many days as you’d want, quite literally forever, and get the end result you so dearly craved. It would take away the fleetingness of our days, it would take away the need to try because you can try as many times as you like.

One of the thing that makes humanity beautiful is the way that we live each day like it could be our last. We value all the memories we make, we value the things we put effort and time into, but when time is infinite, where will that value come from?

If the urgency of life was missing, could we really call it living?

Love, Hea xx

don’t just exist in your life, live it

What’s the word? The word for when your heart fills and your mind buzzes and you just cannot get rid of that grin on your face? When you hear the thing you’ve been wanting to, waiting to, for too long? ‘You did it’, ‘It’s a boy’ or ‘I love you’. It can be as short as three words, or one, ‘yes’. As long as your language would allow a sentence to be. It could just be the right look at the right time from the right person and you just feel it. How can you put that feeling into words? That smile hidden, the smirk, because you just can’t stop yourself? That feeling of electricity coursing through your veins? That heart race and complete contentment, undeniable and unstoppable? You know what I’m talking about, right? You wanna know what I call it? What word encompasses all those strong feelings, that undeniable joy?

A purpose.

For those sunny days where the heat seeps through your skin, for those rainy days where you and your friend can’t breathe through the laughter, for those moments with that person you love where you just never want them to end. For the tears you cried and someone wiped away, for those lonely nights made better by the only person who could, for those secret jokes and moments, memories in your mind which mean more to you than any money or gift ever could. You want to know what I call it?

A reason.

What’s the word? The word which encompasses all of the laughs, each tear, every secret, every secret smile and hidden scar. What’s the word which describes every feeling and emotion you’ve ever felt.

Oh yeah, it’s called living.

And just you, still being here reading this, just your eyes scanning over my words, just the breath you just let out and the one you’re about to take in,

Well it proves you’re doing a damn good job.

Love, hea xx

Why I write

My blog was going to be about how to deal with back to school nerves. Then I realised I’d be back at school when it posted, making it redundant. Maybe September? Either way, todays blog is definitely different.

Todays blog is about my love of writing.

Imagine a beach. You lie on the sand, hot rays of sun coarsing through you, seeming to seep through your skin and warm your whole being. The sea steadily laps in a constant ‘whoosh’ and this peace and contentment fills you, this feeling of complete and utter undeniable bliss.

Can you imagine it?

If your answer’s yes then that’s why I love writing. The thoughts and ideas and feelings inside me, all the things that feel unique to me, well others feel them too. And I love writing because there’s something beautiful about manipulating the English language to paint a picture and provoke an emotion. There’s something beautiful in the way words flow to please the eyes, the way sounds swell to compliment each other in the listeners’ ear, the way language is so unique to location, but feelings are universal. If I can not only speak to your ears, but to your heart then that is why I write.

You know those classic teen movies? And there’s that scene with the character in their convertible with that perfectly hued sunset and beautifully clear sky above them and wind rushing through their perfectly groomed hair and a song like ‘I don’t want to leave’ by Matthew Perryman Jones in the background and the person is so lost in thought that they seem to be enveloped in their own mind?

That’s what writing is to me. It’s those sunset joy rides, those sandy nights on the beach, those times someone’s biting their lip because they’re thinking so hard, those absent minded smiles, those moments that seem so obvious and easy and so simple and you lose yourself in them.

You know that song you were in love with four years ago and when it comes on you can still sing it word for word? Or when you haven’t seen a friend for ages but when you do it’s like everything clicks into place and they’ve never left? You know those things that just come so naturally and easy to you and just become routine? Losing myself in the words I write is one of them for me.

There’s this quote that I’m in love with. ‘She found heaven in a bookstore she got lost in the pages’. I can’t tell you why but for some reason it really speaks to me. When I read (another blog for another time) I lose myself in the words written. I find myself as part of their story. And, this might be a pipe dream and extremely ambitious and vain to say, but one day I hope to write something that someone can lose themselves in. Something that distracts someone right when they need it most.

But more than anything else I want to make a difference.

And I hope to get there, one blog at a time,

Love, Hea xx