Never be anything other than who you want to be

Who are you to judge how much of someone’s body that they decide to show? Who are you to decide whether that person is then a ‘slut’? 

I know so many people who look amazing and beautiful in their photos but are too scared to post them because they’re worried that people will judge them.

For an all inclusive society, we’re sure doing a lot of judging.

People can post what they like, as they like. It does not then make them promiscuous or inappropriate. Yes, I get it when a photo is indecent exposure. Yes, I get it when that someone who is very young is posing in an inappropriate manner, the parents have the right to ask them to take it down.

But I think, after the amount of terrifying prep school movies we were made to watch about cyberstalkers, we get how to private our accounts and we understand that what is put on the internet stays there,

So who are you to judge?

My friend and I were talking about it, and she said, ‘if a guy posts a topless pic, no one cares. The second a girl does it it’s all this drama’ and she is so right. This isn’t a rant about feminism, no that’s coming later. The point is,

People should be allowed to post what they’d like without the worry of being judged.

People should be allowed to dress as they’d like without assumptions.

People should be allowed to be who they are on their own social media page.

the photo attached, well can you really disagree? People shouldn’t be judged or have assumptions made on how they dress. Or what they post of how they dress. People shouldn’t be afraid of being exactly who they want to be. I know there have been countless occasions where I’ve got a friend asking whether they should post a photo because they’re scared of being judged or people thinking that they’re a slut. In fact, just tonight (the night I’m writing this, not the night I’m posting it) I had a panicked text from one of the least ‘slutty’ people I know, word for word, saying ‘do I need to delete my last pic on insta because there were some people like ‘wow’ and judging me, should I delete it? xxx’

To finish today’s blog I’ll write my exact reply, ‘no, no, no. you look so good and if you like the photo there is no reason to take it down. People are always going to judge, but you need to remember that no matter what anyone else may say, you need to do what you want to’

Love, Hea xx

don’t just look- see

“What do you see?,” I ask him, my eyes transfixed on the swirling mass of white fluff dappling the too blue, true blue, sky,

Spiralling, it begins as a dolphin, swimming in the sea of the sky, the above above our world, and turns into

A mermaid singing songs to the sailors ships, siren-like in her appeal and song, her powers of persuasion but changes into

A bird. Right at home among his own, soaring above cities, swooping and flying and riding the breeze like a wave, and for him, just living and now becoming

A girl. A sweet little girl. A sweet kind innocent little girl, unexposed to the big bad world, so simply being, laughing, singing- simply simple, but she grows up into

A bottle. What of? If only she’d know. Something bad for your health, your liver, and even worse for your judgement, something pouring into the blue, flooding it,

And the man beside me peels his eyes from his LED lights,

Glances impassively at the sky,

Glances impassively at me and says,

‘A cloud’-

And falls back into the world of a phone,

While forgetting his own.

Love, Hea xx

Instagram? Insta-sham

These people that you idolise, these models that you admire, these bodies that you envy:

They’re lying.

Photoshop and photo angles are beautiful things, things used to make us look better. Just editing out a spot, to making your waist a little smaller, what’s the harm? Making your friend crouch on the ground to get the perfect angle. And the thing is, there’s nothing wrong with it. Of course there isn’t. It’s natural to want to impress people, to put out the best version of yourself to the world. It’s natural to feel the need to look and be beautiful. Or whatever you count as beautiful. But here’s the thing,

If you use filters and photoshop and angles, do you really think that the models don’t?

The people we see on instagram, the lives we’re lead to believe they live, the version of reality they choose to share,

Well it’s exactly that, isn’t it? What they choose to share. 

When I post a photo, I’m not going to post me lying in bed on Netflix with a bowl of cereal. I’m not going to post me when I’m singing chandelier or high school musical at the top of my lungs surrounded with friends. I’m not going to post the times when I’m crying,

I’m going to post my face with make up, wearing clothes I like, hair nicely washed. I’m going to post something I feel comfortable in, something where I like the way that I look.

So why in heavens name wouldn’t models do the same? 

Some of these people, their very livelihood relies on their following. Their wealth, their self esteem, their happiness depends on likes per posts. Even people who aren’t models, plenty of people base their confidence, their popularity and again, their happiness on their response from social media.

i’m going to be really honest here, yes: I do feel better about myself when I get more likes. Yes, I do feel more confident when I get load of comments. But you know where I cross the line? 

Letting the lack of these things effect me.

People share the parts of their lives that they want you to see. A touch up here, some blemish control there, just little things, tiny things for their lives to seem even better,

But remember this:

If you search for validation and happiness on your social media feed, then you’ll never stop looking,

Love, Hea xx