don’t just look- see

“What do you see?,” I ask him, my eyes transfixed on the swirling mass of white fluff dappling the too blue, true blue, sky,

Spiralling, it begins as a dolphin, swimming in the sea of the sky, the above above our world, and turns into

A mermaid singing songs to the sailors ships, siren-like in her appeal and song, her powers of persuasion but changes into

A bird. Right at home among his own, soaring above cities, swooping and flying and riding the breeze like a wave, and for him, just living and now becoming

A girl. A sweet little girl. A sweet kind innocent little girl, unexposed to the big bad world, so simply being, laughing, singing- simply simple, but she grows up into

A bottle. What of? If only she’d know. Something bad for your health, your liver, and even worse for your judgement, something pouring into the blue, flooding it,

And the man beside me peels his eyes from his LED lights,

Glances impassively at the sky,

Glances impassively at me and says,

‘A cloud’-

And falls back into the world of a phone,

While forgetting his own.

Love, Hea xx

It’s okay

Not everyone’s going to like you. You won’t be everyone’s person. You may not have much in common, may not have the same sense of humour, may not have much to talk about.

Or, you may be too similar and clash, may be too different and have all this distance between you.

You may prefer people with stronger characters, you may prefer people with less conviction, you may prefer smarter people, or people with lower intelligence, you may just not be destined to get on.

And I think I have to remind you guys, that’s okay.

Realistically, you don’t like everyone, right? You don’t like every single person you meet, at school, at work, at home-

And I hate to break it to you, but not everyone’s going to like you either.

As my friend described it, ‘you’d have to be a bit of a nothing person for everyone to like you, but even then there’s no way that everyone would.’

And it’s true.

What I like in people are people who believe what they believe and aren’t afraid to disagree with you, people who make me laugh just by being themselves, people who build me and others up, people who know that they’re perfectly imperfect, but that that’s okay.

But someone out there might like people who don’t share their opinion or belief if it causes conflict, people who put on a face everyday, a mask they hide behind, people who are more malicious and hurtful, people who are completely blind to their own faults-

And that’s okay.

It’s okay for every single person you meet to not like you, it’s okay if you aren’t every single persons’ type of person, it’s okay to not get along with every single person,

As long as you get on with the married people, am-I-right? (Sorry, bad joke, bad time),

As long as you have people, friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, family, colleagues, peers that you get on with, that you like and that like you back.

Of course, this won’t be the same for everyone reading this, but personally, I would rather have close friends who I trust and love and who trust and love me, than have everyone ‘know’ me and everyone ‘like’ me,

Because that’s just who I am,

And you know what?

That’s okay,

Love, Hea xx

Regret

What do you regret? When you look back at your life so far, regardless how long, regardless how short, when you think about the moments that led you to the moment you’re in now, how many do you regret? That person that broke your heart, that thing you shouldn’t have said, the one that got away, what would you change if you could?

Now, some people reading this will be thinking, I’d change nothing because each awkward conversation, every sleepless night and all the people I’ve known will have shaped me to who I am today, I wouldn’t change it because it’s part of me and who I am now.

The rest of us? I’m thinking about the stupid comments that only escalated petty fights, saying something out of anger that made you cover your mouth in shock, that comment that was a bit too personal, too impolite and you only realised after you saw the distaste clear in their eyes. I’m speaking about walking into the wrong room and going red in the face at all the faces staring up at you, the moment you rolled your eyes and the person you were doing it at saw you. I’m talking about the moments that make you cringe and squirm even now,

You wouldn’t change them if you would?

Now, I’m not here to tell you how to live or what to think, but someone said something to me that really upset me honestly enough, ‘if I don’t do it then I can’t regret it’. And it got me thinking, these phrases, ‘you’ll only regret the things you didn’t do’- well I don’t agree. If you were in a bad place in your life and wanted to do something, you won’t regret not having done it. ‘You only regret the things you do do’- well I don’t agree either. The amount of times my social anxiety or awkwardness got in the way of me asking friends or putting myself out there, well it’s innumerable. The amount of quotes about regret, ‘regret is a form of punishment in itself’, ‘never regret something that made you happy’, ‘I made decisions that I regret and took them as learning experiences’ and on and on and while, to an extent, I agree with them all, in my opinion there’s only one quote about regret which it universally true:

Hindsight’s a bitch.

Thinking what you could’ve done, should’ve done, would do if you could try again, well, I agree, it’s you punishing yourself. Obsessing over the past, what’s happened, what would’ve happened, what could’ve happened, well there’s only one word for it:

Exhausting.

There’s one quote about regret which really hit home was by Yoko Ono, ‘the regret of my life is that I have not said ‘I love you’ often enough’ and here’s the thing about regret: right now, the second you’re reading this, the second you’re living this: you have a choice. You can leave a nice comment (which is much appreciated) and move on with your day, you can think about it or you can right now click off and go text your mum or dad or gran or gramps or brother or sister or friend or even a fifth cousin twice removed and just tell them what they mean to you. Tell them you love them. It’s as simple as that. The small messages, the small changes, that’s what’s gounna reshape the world and what we think.

So this Tuesday’s homework is to tell someone what they mean to you,

Make the world a bit of a brighter place for someone

Love, Hea xx

Are you happy?

This blog isn’t a ‘blog’ as such, instead, a poem I wrote today. I hope at least one line, especially the last line, will make you think:

 

See those kids in that green park? 

And hear the freedom in their laugh?

You were once them

 

See the teens just to the right?

See them in their empty fight?

You’ll become them

 

See the tears rolling down their face?

Wishing for anything, other than this place?

You have been them

 

See the couple arm in arm?

The way their smiles makes your heart dance?

You can be them

 

See the mirror before you now?

See the furrow in your brows?

 

If your 6 year old self were looking at you, here

Would they recognise who you are today?

If they pulled at your sleeve and said, ‘are you happy?’

Answer honestly, what would you say?

————————————————

Love, Hea xx

(And just a quick explanation of the name, ‘Hea’ stands for Hoping Ever After <–(click here for the blog explaining the name))