So it’s valentines day tomorrow and although some of y’all are in love and happy-

there are a fair few of us who are less so.

so, instead of having someone to love,

I write about it-

 

Beautiful

And she was. Not in how she looked. Not in how she sang. But in who she was. The way her mind worked and calculated, the cogs that turned there whirred faster than her fingers tap, tap, tapping at the desk because her thoughts they work too fast to stay inside her and

Beautiful

And he was. Not in how he was. Not in how he looked. But in how he sang. The way each note rang out like the cleanest chime of a bell on a clear summer’s day. The way the emotion was thick in every syllable that left his mouth.

Beautiful.

And they were. Not in how they sang. Not in how they were. But in how they looked, how they looked at each other. The way each one seemed so deeply immersed in the others’ eyes, like all that ever was or would, or could, be with tattooed in the iris of the other and

It’s beautiful.

The way they fit together, not even like two pieces of a puzzle, but like magnets, as though it was physics bringing them together,

And how can you deny science?

 

Love, Hea xxx

Stressing about stressing?

So this week I have exams and, well, I call them exams when in reality they’re just time fillers for our exam hall- they aren’t the most relevant of things. Anyways, plenty of my friends go into each exam with genuine horror painted across their features and either finish with their wrinkles smooth 

Or they just look confused.

And the thing is, I know what it is to stress. Trust me, I do. Not getting into it but by God do I get it,

But the thing is worry doesn’t change a situation.

Thinking ‘what if’ doesn’t effect reality.

Losing sleep about being tired isn’t refreshing

Biting your nails about breaking a habit is hardly effective

And stressing about stressing is like slapping yourself in the face and being surprised by the sting.

but I stress about everything. About what I’ve said, about how it came out, about what he or she is thinking of me about how my lesson will go, about how my hair looks from the back, about whether my struggling friend will be ok, about whether my family will, every phone call I get I’m expecting bad news and

Dear lord, it’s exhausting.

I overthink about overthinking and

It’s just draining.

I’m trying to train myself by the mantra ‘que sera sera’ which is French for ‘what will be, will be. If someone’s formed their opinion and it’s negative then they’re not worth my time changing it. Once somethings left my mouth or I’ve sent the text, the fact is it’s done and stressing about it won’t change that. 

Self care isn’t all glamorous, baths and face masks and candles.

It can be letting yourself get so worked up your just need a hug

But you gotta remember

These thoughts? The ones that stop you from sleeping? They’re just thoughts.

Thoughts in no way reflect reality.

Please don’t forget that

Love, Hea xxx

When you need to be no one else, who do you let yourself be?

We wear our masks, don’t we? The ones we want to wear. for the person we’re with, a slightly different smile, a different gleam in the eye. It’s so simple isn’t it? Us humans, creatures of habit, we get so used to becoming whoever we feel we should be. We’re glorified chameleons just with a bigger level of self awareness.

We’re 101 people, all shoved into a body but the real question is-

When the night dawns and darkness creeps in, spilling onto the floor of your bedroom-

When the shadows lurk beyond your closed curtains and seep slowly spilling inside-

When your mind lists off all the things wrong with you and making you question all you’ve done-

Who are you then?

Are you who you are with him? Satirical, confident, in control.

Are you who you are with her? Light, breezy, simple.

Are you who you are with them? Raw, open, honest?

Who are you when you have no one else to be?

‘You don’t need to see the sunset

To feel the warmth of it’s colours’

Atticus

Do you need to know yourself, to feel how warm you could be?

Do you need to understand your mind, for it to ever grow?

How simple it is. To become who we need to be, who we should be.

How simple it is to be a chameleon.

But who are you when there’s no background to blend into?

Love, Hea xxx

Kindness

Kindness costs nothing. It doesn’t make your life worse. It doesn’t hurt or offend or ruin anything-

But it makes the world brighter.

There’s so much hate in this world. Terrorism, starvation, a sexist Wotsit in charge of nuclear missiles- yes, there’s dark

But we can make it light.

I wear this wristband. It’s blue and looks like nothing and I couldn’t tell you where it’s from but it’s blue and sweet and has little pink writing and whenever I look down I see ‘Today’s Random Act Of Kindness?’

And we should all have that. A reminder to do a small little something. It’s clinically proven that the one of the most effective forms of conditioning is by making yourself do something once daily basis, it becomes natural, almost necessary, for day to day life.

Look, let’s be real. We all love compliments. The most modest of us less so, but all of us can appreciate a heartfelt compliment or show of interest or something small like, if someone drops something, picking it up. If someone looks down, offer a smile.

Be the person you’d want to know.

Because who would you be hurting? Kindness is free, it’s easy, it should be as natural as breathing

Yet so many of us overlook it and opt for the cheap shot or degrading others, which ultimately degrades ourselves and

Uh I find it so frustrating. Message someone saying they looked nice, or just say hi. Offer to carry someone’s things for them if they’re struggling. 

But don’t forget to be kind to yourself.

‘The first rule of kindness is being kind to yourself’

Please, make someone’s world a little brighter,

And it’s allowed to be your own,

Love, Hea xx

Good thing, bad thing- who knows?

so please ignore the lack of capitalisation but this is being written on my phone, so, sorry. this is something that’s just warmed my heart. so my train is and hour and a half delayed and it’s 7:30 at night and freezing cold and you’d expect people to be tired, grumpy and, well, moody, right? i have a girl and a guy next to me who’ve never met before having a real laugh and there are two girls about 13 and 10 behind me and the younger said to the older how she was craving some chocolate so the lady next to them gave them hers

and isn’t that just amazing?

these people, brought together by circumstance, by, what could be considered, bad luck-

but us humans, we won’t let it stay bad for long,

we fight.

they then the people next to me sat and chatted and laughed the entire journey, gave each other their numbers and hugged before waving good bye

 

there’s this old story, the kind that starts with a ‘once upon a time’ about a man in a small village and things that happen, him buying a horse, the horse running away, it bringing more horses, all the people said ‘that’s so good for you’ or the opposite and no matter what happened, no matter the situation, he replied ‘good thing, bad thing, who knows’

‘every action has an equal and opposite reaction’. a mantra we were raised on since the day we were able to spell ‘science’. 

but what if it isn’t only scientific? the tiny choices, the ones that feel like the smallest thing, the ones which can mean little to nothing-

whether they’re bad or good- they’re everything. from whether or not to go to the doctor to the country you live in and, to get back to my earlier point- 

just because it feels like a bad thing, an annoying thing, something so genuinely frustrating or upsetting or, at the time, world ending- you don’t know what it will lead to. what new people, what brilliant, brilliant things will happen. 

And you don’t always know, and you won’t always know, and that might be scary-

But isn’t bloody brilliant as well?

Love, Hea xx

I’m back… but actually this time!

Ok, ok, I know I said this before but this time I mean it!

Had a bit of a busy half term and was rather preoccupied but I’ll really try my best to upload on here and I have a few new ideas to share with you all which I’m really excited about! I think I’ll be uploading every Wednesday and Saturday, or trying to, and I think the break just set so many new ideas in my mind. I really do adore these blogs and the voice and platform it gives me and I don’t want it to be something which fizzles out.

So this one’s just a shout out to you. Yes, you reading this. Just the fact you clicked the link and spent some of your time on this, well it really does mean something to me. 

With social media, and I’m sure I’ve said this before but, we have this incredible platform and there is so much potential. Even just a comment, just a like, just a click on a link,

Isn’t that so damn beautiful?

Obviously, there are dangers, many, but there are dangers crossing the road and eating a meal, and the thing I think just makes social media for me is the communities. You can make friends or contacts with people a million miles away. You can support and love family you, otherwise, wouldn’t even know existed. 

And there’s a chance for all of us to change the world.

Maybe not in a Rosa Parks or a Trump way (luckily, for one of those) but even to change one person’s world or to make a stupid meme that makes someone laugh or be able to brighten up someone’s darker day-

And that is beautiful.

It’s as simple as that.

The fact you make someone’s world a lighter and happier place with the click of a button?

Undeniably, unquestionably, completely- beautiful.

So that click you click, the tap you tap-

Make it make someone else’s life better

Love, Hea xx

Never be anything other than who you want to be

Who are you to judge how much of someone’s body that they decide to show? Who are you to decide whether that person is then a ‘slut’? 

I know so many people who look amazing and beautiful in their photos but are too scared to post them because they’re worried that people will judge them.

For an all inclusive society, we’re sure doing a lot of judging.

People can post what they like, as they like. It does not then make them promiscuous or inappropriate. Yes, I get it when a photo is indecent exposure. Yes, I get it when that someone who is very young is posing in an inappropriate manner, the parents have the right to ask them to take it down.

But I think, after the amount of terrifying prep school movies we were made to watch about cyberstalkers, we get how to private our accounts and we understand that what is put on the internet stays there,

So who are you to judge?

My friend and I were talking about it, and she said, ‘if a guy posts a topless pic, no one cares. The second a girl does it it’s all this drama’ and she is so right. This isn’t a rant about feminism, no that’s coming later. The point is,

People should be allowed to post what they’d like without the worry of being judged.

People should be allowed to dress as they’d like without assumptions.

People should be allowed to be who they are on their own social media page.

the photo attached, well can you really disagree? People shouldn’t be judged or have assumptions made on how they dress. Or what they post of how they dress. People shouldn’t be afraid of being exactly who they want to be. I know there have been countless occasions where I’ve got a friend asking whether they should post a photo because they’re scared of being judged or people thinking that they’re a slut. In fact, just tonight (the night I’m writing this, not the night I’m posting it) I had a panicked text from one of the least ‘slutty’ people I know, word for word, saying ‘do I need to delete my last pic on insta because there were some people like ‘wow’ and judging me, should I delete it? xxx’

To finish today’s blog I’ll write my exact reply, ‘no, no, no. you look so good and if you like the photo there is no reason to take it down. People are always going to judge, but you need to remember that no matter what anyone else may say, you need to do what you want to’

Love, Hea xx