I don’t do subtle…

Word of the week- Subtle 

Subtle. Achieved in a quiet or unobserved way that attracts little to no attention to itself so is therefore clever or good. As I’m sure all of you noticed, I’m an extremely subtle and unobserved person who shies away for any and all attention, which is why I have a website dedicated to my writing.

No, I’m just joking but seriously.

I don’t do subtle.

I see absolutely no point of it.

Obviously I don’t march up to someone, insult them then walk away. I’m not that bad.

But let’s say someone asked me a question most people would shy away from. I stand up proud and answer, fully, properly and proudly because

Who has time for shying around the point? I’m sorry, but you’ll regret the things you don’t say more than the things you do, you’ll wish you had told your friend it wouldn’t suit her short before she had it cut, or that you told that girl you liked her before she dated someone else or that-

My goodness, subtlety is so damn boring.

If you dislike confrontation, I get it. It’s scary. To be open and honest and all, it’s terrifying but if someone asks you a question and you avoid and deflect-

You’re not being subtle, you’re being evasive and

I just don’t see the point.

Life’s too short. To spend time on subtlety. Be tasteful, sure. Be kind always. 

But take a risk. If you’re reading this then, well, firstly thank you, but also get off of this and message someone you haven’t for a while and say hi, talk to your crush, tell someone you love them and be straight up and honest. If a friend has upset you then tell them, if there’s an unresolved issue then resolve it but get off of here and do it now-

You regret 100% of the chances you didn’t take so

Screw subtle.

Love, Hea xx

Hope

Word of the week- Hope

Maybe I should’ve saved this one. Held on to ‘hope’ for my one year anniversary or my birthday but why save up the good things for later when there’s still now? In my blog explaining my name, ‘hoping ever after’ I wrote this-

What if happy ever after wasn’t just for fairy tails?  What if that just and fair society is one day for real life? Maybe it’s a bit ambitious: but I can hope. Hope is the one thing that keeps people going. Hope for a future, hope for happiness, hope for a tomorrow. And my hope is for our world top have its happily ever after.

And almost a year later I believe that hope is what makes the world go round.

Hope. Hope, the most important thing to keep a person sane and alive. Hope is defined as a feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen. And isn’t that the most pathetic thing you’ve ever heard?

Hope drives humanity. It’s the one thing that binds us, connects us, becomes us. Hope for a better tomorrow, for a future, for happiness or things to get better or for things to stay the same. Hope for a life after this or to live a life with no regrets. How I see it, all things can lead their way down a winding road, all motivations, dreams, wants- all lead back to hope. 

And it’s so positive. 

It’s ironic, isn’t it? How one of the opposites of hope is reality. When hope is just a want, a need, for things to go well. making the opposite of hope reality, well it makes positivity seem like a waste of time, like an unachievable thing when in reality,

It’s the only thing that really matters.

How poetic is it that the antonym of hope is fear? That the direct opposite of what beats through our veins is what can make our hearts stop. Dread is fear of the future while hope is belief in it. Some people wake dreading the day ahead, some wake believing in it and hoping for a good one-

This year, what kind of person will you be?

Love, Hea xx

Word of the week- joy

Hi everyone,

I’ve decided to make it more realistic that I commit to the blog again, I’m going to say every Monday I’ll post (but as it’s the first day of the year, let’s make an exception), and I’ll do a word of the week. I got this idea from one of the best men I knew and feel like it’s a small way of continuing his legacy.

This week- joy

Joy is defined as a feeling of great pleasure or happiness, and has many biblical and societal connotations but if you know anything about my blogs it’ll be, I don’t really do facts and figures…  

joy is when you can’t stop smiling from ear to ear until your cheeks ache. It’s when each cell of your body seems to burn with life and vivacity. When you feel like all the elements are conspiring to make you fly.

It’s the moment you see the face you’ve missed so much it aches your heart and suddenly just a glimpse floods back the memories until they’re in your arms-

It’s the second that relief washes over you, when you’re so tense about results or news, and it seems to cascade down your shoulders and back, releasing all tension until you’re floating-

It’s a feeling. That definition is not wrong.

But I can’t say it’s right. One could find great pleasure in completing a difficult crossword or happiness in a good nights sleep-

But joy…

Can you categorise the feeling of genuine delight upon doing an action out of nothing but kindnesss and getting to see the impact you’ve made? can you label the sound of a child laughing, so pure and innocent and-

‘A feeling of great pleasure and happiness’ is the most bland definition for the most fascinating word.

To me, joy- a feeling of complete bliss or absolute euphoria

Bit more detailed isn’t it?

Happy new year everyone!! It’s 2019- kinda crazy if we’re honest. I hope that your 2018 was a good year but that your 2019 will be even better- 

Hope it’s full of joy 🙂

Love, Hea xx

Good thing, bad thing- who knows?

so please ignore the lack of capitalisation but this is being written on my phone, so, sorry. this is something that’s just warmed my heart. so my train is and hour and a half delayed and it’s 7:30 at night and freezing cold and you’d expect people to be tired, grumpy and, well, moody, right? i have a girl and a guy next to me who’ve never met before having a real laugh and there are two girls about 13 and 10 behind me and the younger said to the older how she was craving some chocolate so the lady next to them gave them hers

and isn’t that just amazing?

these people, brought together by circumstance, by, what could be considered, bad luck-

but us humans, we won’t let it stay bad for long,

we fight.

they then the people next to me sat and chatted and laughed the entire journey, gave each other their numbers and hugged before waving good bye

 

there’s this old story, the kind that starts with a ‘once upon a time’ about a man in a small village and things that happen, him buying a horse, the horse running away, it bringing more horses, all the people said ‘that’s so good for you’ or the opposite and no matter what happened, no matter the situation, he replied ‘good thing, bad thing, who knows’

‘every action has an equal and opposite reaction’. a mantra we were raised on since the day we were able to spell ‘science’. 

but what if it isn’t only scientific? the tiny choices, the ones that feel like the smallest thing, the ones which can mean little to nothing-

whether they’re bad or good- they’re everything. from whether or not to go to the doctor to the country you live in and, to get back to my earlier point- 

just because it feels like a bad thing, an annoying thing, something so genuinely frustrating or upsetting or, at the time, world ending- you don’t know what it will lead to. what new people, what brilliant, brilliant things will happen. 

And you don’t always know, and you won’t always know, and that might be scary-

But isn’t bloody brilliant as well?

Love, Hea xx

I’m back… but actually this time!

Ok, ok, I know I said this before but this time I mean it!

Had a bit of a busy half term and was rather preoccupied but I’ll really try my best to upload on here and I have a few new ideas to share with you all which I’m really excited about! I think I’ll be uploading every Wednesday and Saturday, or trying to, and I think the break just set so many new ideas in my mind. I really do adore these blogs and the voice and platform it gives me and I don’t want it to be something which fizzles out.

So this one’s just a shout out to you. Yes, you reading this. Just the fact you clicked the link and spent some of your time on this, well it really does mean something to me. 

With social media, and I’m sure I’ve said this before but, we have this incredible platform and there is so much potential. Even just a comment, just a like, just a click on a link,

Isn’t that so damn beautiful?

Obviously, there are dangers, many, but there are dangers crossing the road and eating a meal, and the thing I think just makes social media for me is the communities. You can make friends or contacts with people a million miles away. You can support and love family you, otherwise, wouldn’t even know existed. 

And there’s a chance for all of us to change the world.

Maybe not in a Rosa Parks or a Trump way (luckily, for one of those) but even to change one person’s world or to make a stupid meme that makes someone laugh or be able to brighten up someone’s darker day-

And that is beautiful.

It’s as simple as that.

The fact you make someone’s world a lighter and happier place with the click of a button?

Undeniably, unquestionably, completely- beautiful.

So that click you click, the tap you tap-

Make it make someone else’s life better

Love, Hea xx

Never be anything other than who you want to be

Who are you to judge how much of someone’s body that they decide to show? Who are you to decide whether that person is then a ‘slut’? 

I know so many people who look amazing and beautiful in their photos but are too scared to post them because they’re worried that people will judge them.

For an all inclusive society, we’re sure doing a lot of judging.

People can post what they like, as they like. It does not then make them promiscuous or inappropriate. Yes, I get it when a photo is indecent exposure. Yes, I get it when that someone who is very young is posing in an inappropriate manner, the parents have the right to ask them to take it down.

But I think, after the amount of terrifying prep school movies we were made to watch about cyberstalkers, we get how to private our accounts and we understand that what is put on the internet stays there,

So who are you to judge?

My friend and I were talking about it, and she said, ‘if a guy posts a topless pic, no one cares. The second a girl does it it’s all this drama’ and she is so right. This isn’t a rant about feminism, no that’s coming later. The point is,

People should be allowed to post what they’d like without the worry of being judged.

People should be allowed to dress as they’d like without assumptions.

People should be allowed to be who they are on their own social media page.

the photo attached, well can you really disagree? People shouldn’t be judged or have assumptions made on how they dress. Or what they post of how they dress. People shouldn’t be afraid of being exactly who they want to be. I know there have been countless occasions where I’ve got a friend asking whether they should post a photo because they’re scared of being judged or people thinking that they’re a slut. In fact, just tonight (the night I’m writing this, not the night I’m posting it) I had a panicked text from one of the least ‘slutty’ people I know, word for word, saying ‘do I need to delete my last pic on insta because there were some people like ‘wow’ and judging me, should I delete it? xxx’

To finish today’s blog I’ll write my exact reply, ‘no, no, no. you look so good and if you like the photo there is no reason to take it down. People are always going to judge, but you need to remember that no matter what anyone else may say, you need to do what you want to’

Love, Hea xx

Guess who’s back!

Everyone, Hea has returned!

I was giving myself a bit of time to adjust to school and relax at the end of the holidays, but I missed writing this too much and right now have the silliest, most massive grin on my face.

so, although I have so much to tell you, I’ll start with a poem.

I was asked to write about my identity. We looked at still I rise by Maya Angelou, and based our off it and, I don’t know, I guess I felt like a bit of sass.

I’m so happy to be back, back and here to stay : )

so here goes

A Damn Loud Scream

 

Look me in my eyes I dare you, stare right into them deep-

Memorize the shadow as my lashes brush my cheek,

Notice golden specs magnetized in to the black,

If you do look hard enough you may just see the cracks,

But if you want, sweep them under the rug, keep me nice and neat,

Since girls should be seen not heard- remain all good and sweet.

 

Hear me sigh, and hear me moan,

In complaint- not alone

Not wondering what my fingers do in the dark,

Not wondering how to worm into my heart

Because when sigh and moan are on a page

Then sex somehow becomes my middle name

Because girls should be seen not heard,

Pass the day without a word

Quiet, shush dear, not too much noise,

Because, despite all these rules- boys will still be boys

 

so look at my lips as they part to let out a long held breath,

watch me put on lip balm and sigh a lil’ bit,

as I concentrate on the words which flow out of my pen,

see me bite inside my cheek, and see me there and then

and focus on the words that are written and I can say this, yet

you’ll keep choosing what you see. Okay let’s make a bet

 

let me raise an eyebrow and

don’t expect a raising hand

let my brow furrow in confusion, don’t

ask me why because we both know I won’t

sit in silence, suffering all the while

I wouldn’t cover with a smile-

If I need a hand, I’ll let you know,

And if I don’t then let it go.

 

Have you memorized the crinkles at the corner of my mouth when I grin?

Could you recite the poem my heart speaks, off all the guilt and sin?

Live inside my size five shoes and recollect my walk

Have you learned the vocab list of tones I make when I talk?

Quick now, write it down, I’m teaching you, you know?

And though we haven’t gone through it yet I must assume you know-

 

Oh dear I’m sorry, what a foolish silly thing of me to do, accept my apology,

‘Cause you best believe, this ‘seen not heard’ will make a damn loud scream

P.S. this is my 50th post on this website! isn’t that crazy!

love, Hea xx